Pastor - Let Your People Know You Love Them

So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.

- 1st Thessalonians 2:8

I was 25 until I heard a pastor, from the pulpit, say to his congregation “I love you”. Perhaps others said it before then and I just didn’t hear it. I remember how foreign it sounded. And how sweet it was. Teaching can communicate a lot of things. But it’s not the best at communicating love or affection. You may assume your people know you love them, but it may surprise you to know how impactful explicitly saying it and showing it can be.

I love this verse in 1st Thessalonians. The author is saying, we so loved you, that we were ready to share not only the Gospel with you— but also our own selves. Why? Because you had become very dear to us. Pastor, let this text be a mirror to your soul. Can you say to your people, “Because of my love for you, I will not only share the gospel (teaching) with you, but also my own self.” What a beautiful combo. What a treasure you would be to your people. I’ve known many pastors who have taught from a place of love. I’ve know very few pastors who I could say, loved me so deeply they gave me their self too. But for those who have loved me like that— I would follow them into any battle.

Here are three ways that I’ve been learning to give myself to people:

One- Use your calendar wisely.

One of the profound things I’ve learned about using my calendar is how it can be used to love. Yes, in blocking off time for people, but also to remind you to love. I’m sure you have painful anniversaries in your life. The day your father died. Or the day your son renounced Christianity. Or the day you lost your job. How meaningful would it be if on the anniversary of those days, you received a text/email/call from someone that loved you? Anytime I visit a funeral or learn of some painful anniversary I put it in my smart phones calendar and set the alarm to repeat yearly. That way when the day rolls around, I see on my phone “Nigil’s friend passed away today” - and I can then send him a call or a text.

It’s a sign of thoughtfulness. Of care. And of deep love. Pastor, would you use technology to your advantage?

Two- Pray for your people, and tell them!

We have to be careful. We don’t want our good deeds to be shown in front of all. But there is such a monumental impact of someones pastor praying specifically for them. Of all ages! Can you imagine what would happen in the heart of a 13 year old boy, struggling with sexual sin and wondering where God was, if he got a ‘random’ text from his pastor saying that he was prayed for that morning? Or the heart of the old saint, wondering if he has any use left in this church. Give him a a call and tell him he is valuable and is being prayed for.

The beauty of that! What a way to give yourself to your people! We do have to be careful, for Jesus warns us about showing our good deeds in front of others so that we may be well liked and gloried in. It’s another thing, though, to show your good deed with a desire to communicate love. Pray for your people and tell them you’ve done so. Don’t be fake though, people can smell it from a mile away.

Three- Send them songs.

I know what you are thinking. “What, send them songs?” Yes- send them songs. The reason behind this is because it requires something of you. It requires you to get to know your people. I have friends in my life that I know. I know their struggles. I know what makes them feel bad and guilty. I know what gives them joy. I know what they find beautiful. I know them! And sometimes, when they go through a difficult season I don’t know what to say. But then, maybe on Spotify, I hear a song that says what my words couldn’t. The gift of someone knowing you, knowing where you are, and sending a song that speaks to you in that moment… that’s a thoughtfulness unheard of in friends, much less pastors!

Pastor, would you work hard to love your people? Yes, in teaching. But also by giving yourself to your people. I know it can be scary or awkward, but risk! Pastor, risk! Risk for the sake of love. Risk for the sake of the Gospel! Get to know them, for by so doing your heart will become affectionately desirous of them and you will give not only the Gospel, but also your own self to them. Oh for more pastors that are the kind of tenderhearted, thoughtful, time-taking, loving people. People are starved for that. Model for them that kind of tenderhearted love. I promise you it will pay dividends that you cannot comprehend.

Pastor, before you were called to do anything else for your people, you were called to love them. We need pastors who deeply show their love for their people. Tell them you love them from your stage. And off of it too.

Working hard to love well,

Josh.

Here’s a song that has really stirred my affections for the Lord lately. I hope it encourages you.