The Fruit of The Spirit | How To Love Hard People
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Galatians 5:22
People are not always easy to love. They can be rude, selfish, angry, stupid, and stubborn. They can be terrible at listening. The temptation is to believe that if other people would exhibit the fruits of the spirit, love would be easier. Community would be easier. Marriage would be easier.
That is the path of least resistance. Paul is not saying that your marriage will flourish when your spouse or hard to love coworker learns the fruits of the spirit. Relationships will flourish when you cultivate the fruits of the spirit despite what other people do.
If you cultivate the fruits of the spirit you will embody love. Are you a person of peace? Patience? Kindness? Goodness? Faithfulness? Gentleness? Self-control?
When it is hard
I know this is no easy task. So does God. Perhaps that is why this is called the fruits of the spirit. Because it takes something outside of yourself to grow in these qualities. It takes the work of the Spirit. And what is the pathway to cultivating the qualities of love? Death.
“And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” says Paul in verse 24. Our flesh does not desire the path of sacrifice. We don’t want to be loving when other people are not towards us. We don’t want to be patient. But this is why we must follow in the way of Jesus, putting to death our flesh.
New life only happens after death.
How to Crucify the flesh
How do we crucify the flesh so that the fruit of the spirit can grow? I’m sure there are many ways, but as this text has worked me over the past week, the place of crucifixion has been in prayer. As I tell God “Lord, I do not want to be patient with this person. It seems hard. It seems unfair. Shouldn’t they repent and apologize first!” He takes my mind to His life on this earth.
He takes my mind to a room where He is speaking to a sinful woman and a man who is shaming her. “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” (Luke 7:47)
Those who are forgiven little love little. I have been forgiven much. He takes my mind to many of my sins over the years and how He has treated me. He has only loved me. He has been a God of peace when my sins created chaos. He has been patient with me when I am slow to learn. He has been kind to me when I turn my back on Him and am not kind to Him. He is good to me. He is faithful to me tho I am unfaithful to Him. He has been gentle with me when I am not gentle with myself. He had self control, staying on that cross to die for my sins when I have no self-control and choose things above Him.
When I struggle to cultivate the fruits of the spirit in my life, through prayer, God reminds me that He has embodied the fruits of the Spirit towards me in perfect quality. And all of that is towards me when I am not exhibiting them towards Him. His love softens my heart to love.
This invites me to allow my flesh to be crucified and to ask for the qualities of Jesus to be made manifest in me. Because He who has been forgiven much, loves much, even when it is hard.
Learning to love every day,
Josh.