The Price Of Being A Good Friend

What makes a good friend? It’s a simple question with a million possible answers. Life moves quickly, the stages and seasons run their courses, and we end up having a whole bunch of different friends. We categorize them in attempts to find the good ones. We have those friends that fall in the “Yeah, sure, I’d say we are friends” category; or those we often find ourselves around, but only because of proximity. Still, the question stands: what truly makes a good friend? Most of us have plenty of friends, but few that we would identify as real, true, authentic ones. Chances are, you know exactly what I mean. So, why do you consider those few to be good friends? Is it because every time you hangout you have a ‘laughing so hard you can’t breathe’ moment? Or is it simply because you have been in each others’ lives for so long that you just consider them a good friend? We all want good friends, but we must be willing to pay the price to be one. If we can get to the bottom of what truly makes a good friend, it will surely help in equipping us to be just that for those we love. The process may sound simple, but simple does not mean easy. If you take a look at Jesus’s words on the matter, you will find that being a good friend will cost daily.

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

John 15:13 

In this passage Jesus is speaking to the disciples, those he considers his friends, and gives quite the statement for how one is to show the greatest love possible for a friend. Ready for it? Lay down your life. Now, I do not think this means you should start looking for ways to literally die for someone in order to prove your love to them. That may be the greatest way to show love, but I think the common theme here, a call on every believer’s life, is dying to yourself in order to lift up the name of Jesus and serve God’s children. It is through the lens of this scripture that we must look to see how we should daily put our desires and wants aside in order to serve our friends. In order to be what Jesus considers a good friend, each of us must lay down our life daily. This is the price we must pay in order to be a good friend, a true brother or sister in Christ, to those we love.

What does being a good friend actually look like though? Does this mean I Cash App all of my friends 5 bucks every day? Or write them an encouraging note for each day of the week? Maybe! However, I think more practically it looks like just being there. Be present. Be available. I would not be where I am today or be the friend I am to others if those I consider good friends had not done just that for me. I wouldn’t be where I am today if not for the good friends of mine who would call me in the middle of panic attacks. It didn’t matter what they were doing or if they were across the country. They pushed through the obstacles or inconveniences that came with doing whatever they could to be there for me in those moments. Despite the circumstances, they were present and available. It is through those moments that I have seen more clearly a picture of Jesus and how he laid down his life for me. In the grand scheme of things, these friends of mine were not literally giving up their lives. They were, however, putting their lives to the side in order to love me. So, yeah, sit with the friend wrestling with suicidal thoughts until 4 in the morning. Challenge the friend who is consistently relying on an unhealthy habit instead of the Lord to find rest. Surprise a friend with their favorite Starbucks drink. Show up. Be present. Be available. Lay your own wishes aside. Be a good friend. 

There is no way I can list all the opportunities you will have to be a good friend because each friendship is unique. Just know that whatever it looks like, laying down your life daily is a price worth paying in order to give someone a glimpse of the great love that Jesus has for each and every one of us. Now you have to ask yourself, how will you lay down your life for those around you in order to point towards the sacrifice Jesus made for us?

Josh Clark

Josh is a student pastor at Fellowship Bible Church (Midtown campus) in Little Rock, AR. Josh grew up in Ooltewah, TN and loves any and all sports (mostly soccer). He is passionate about seeing people restored in light of the love of God and teaching people about that same transformative love.

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