Do I Love The Bible Like I Used To?

My relationship with the Bible has changed. I think less about it during my days and reading it feels clunky. I remember past times in my life where scripture filled my heart, it almost always seemed to come to mind. But now, it seems much less intense. I still read daily, but it just doesn’t feel like it used to. Am I reading and filling my head, and not my heart? Has my approach become overly academic? Has my method of reading gone awry? I am not sure. Perhaps writing it out will prove helpful.

In one sense, this doesn’t overly worry me because passions ebb and flow, don’t they? We change, our circumstances change, the way we interact with the Bible also changes. Sometimes we are driven by delight in our spiritual disciples. Sometimes the only thing that keeps us in it is discipline. That’s true of any relationship though. But the question remains, how do I get back to what was? I want to be full of scripture in my head and my heart. I want to be passionate about it in my public life and in my private life. Is there a way back? Or maybe there’s something new on the horizon?

Lessons in unlikely places

This may seem irrelevant, but track with me. I picked up Timothy Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage off my bookshelf to read a chapter I had read in Seminary. In it he talks about vulnerability, which is something I’ve been giving a lot of thought to over the past few weeks. I came across this story he tells which was quite profound for me, not in relation to vulnerability, but in my thinking through my relationship with my Bible.

Some years ago, a man who regularly listened to my preaching made a shrewd observation. He said, "When you are well prepared for your sermon, you cite a great variety of sources, but when you aren't well prepared, you just quote C.S. Lewis." He was right. The reason for that is that I have over the years read virtually everything of Lewis that is in print. When I first became a Christian believer, his writings spoke to my questions and concerns more than any other. So I have continually, repeatedly, read his writings until I can recite dozens of passages by heart. I have also read several biographies and lots of his personal letters.

When you dive that deeply into the life and works of a single figure, something interesting happens. You don't just get to know his writings; you get to know how his mind works. You come to know what he would have said in answer to a particular question or how he would have responded to a particular incident. The reason that, when I have to speak off the cuff, C.S. Lewis just comes pouring out is because, as it were, he is in there, he is part of my thought life.

What then, would the effect be if we were to dive even more deeply into Jesus's teaching and life and work? What if we were to be so immersed in his promises and summonses, his counsels and encouragements, that they dominated our inner life, capturing our imagination, and simply bubbled out spontaneously when we face some challenge? How would we live if we instinctively, almost unconsciously, knew Jesus' mind and heart regarding things that confronted us? When you received criticism, you would never be crushed, because Jesus' love and acceptance of you is so deeply "in there". When you gave criticism, you would be gentle and patient, because your whole inner world would be saturated by a sense of Jesus' loving patience and gentleness with you.

The Meaning of Marriage - Tim Keller

Immersed

One word stuck out to me that encapsulated what Keller was getting at. Immersed.

As I contemplate my relationship with the Bible over the last few weeks, I would not describe it as immersed. Which is almost ironic because I’m in one of the more slower pace seasons of my life. I should have more time with the Word, it should be easier, shouldn’t it? I’ve been in much more busier times and found the space to be immersed in the Word. So it’s not a simple notion of time. As if I should just spend more time in the Bible and that would fix everything. It must have something to do with how I am spending that time.

In some ways, and I’ve always struggled with this, I tend to simply re-read what I know. And because I’ve read Ephesians 100 times, I tend to just gloss over what I’m quite used to reading. Is there a way to read something with a fresh perspective? Here’s a few thoughts:

• Read parts of the Bible you aren’t as used to.

• Reading a new translation.

• Reading slower.

• Journaling about one verse.

• Picking a theme/word in the text and meditating on its implications. (Ex: God as father)

• Talking to friends about what you read.

Moving forward

What is the course forward? I’m not sure, honestly. But I want to be immersed like I used to in scripture. I want it to be a constant companion throughout my days. I want it to lead me to prayer. So I will do my best to immerse myself in it as best I can and trust that in time, God will be faithful to bring the passion back.

Does duty lead to delight? Or delight to duty?

We cannot always change our hearts and our affections. We cannot ignite the flame of passion for God or for His word. We are simply responsible for placing the sticks and the kindling in the right places. In due time, the Lord will fan the flame.

Lessons in the process

If you find yourself in a place like me, don’t give up reading. It is doing more than you presently see. Maybe God is teaching us things in the process of reading, not simply just what we read. God had things to teach Israel in the wilderness with mana. Yes, the mana provided them something. But the lesson was in how they got the mana. The lesson was in the process. The same can be true with us.

Perhaps who we truly are is displayed when we stick with commitments when the passion is low. Duty will lead to delight. I want to be found faithful.

Working to be immersed in the word with you,

Josh.

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