Am I Too Dirty For Church?
Holiness and cigiratte smoke
The guy behind me in church on Sunday smelt like cigarettes. It helped restore some of my faith in Church. It reminded me that Church isn’t supposed to be as clean as we make it sometimes.
I love Church. I love Jesus. But when you go to seminary, everything becomes so clean. Living in a religious bubble isn’t easy. You’re prone to become intoxicated by the cleanliness of those around you. Perhaps it’s supposed cleanliness. The type of cleanliness that tucks your shirt in, but your soul is withering inside. Perhaps its cultural cleanliness. It’s easy to be a fake, because if you aren’t “clean”, you’re the black sheep. The assumption can become, if you aren’t our standard of “cleanliness” maybe you can’t come to Jesus.
Is Christianity too clean?
If you don’t dress nice. If you smell like smoke. If you’re not always happy. If life is difficult. If you doubt God sometimes. If your pants sag. If you’re barely making rent and you wore the same clothes twice in a week… you wouldn’t fit into the “cleanliness” of the bubble I find myself. Would we let you into our circle? Would you be a project to us? Or would you simply be one of us, just another sinner in need of grace.
You see, our supposed “cleanliness” can create in us a heart that thinks we were never dirty. Or that we aren’t dirty now.
Spiritual Stench
Sunday, after we sang a worship song, when I bowed my head to pray. I smelt it. The lingering smell of cigarette smoke from the guy behind me. It gave me hope… maybe church could be for people like this? Not that smoking is some great sin, but it doesn’t fit into our clean bubble. Maybe church could be a place for people who didn’t fit into our bubble.
Maybe church could be a place for people who didn’t fit our upper-class, put together, culturally acceptable standard of “cleanliness”.
I wonder what it smelt like when Jesus, the son of God, was born. Probably like animal feces. I wonder what it smelt like when Jesus went to the lepers. I wonder what it looked like when Jesus let a prostitute sit at his feet. I wonder what it looked like when Jesus let his disciples ‘work’ on the Sabbath to get some food. I wonder what it was like to see that Jesus wasn’t as “clean” as everyone thought he should be. It probably wouldn’t have fit into our box. The holiest person ever alive, getting dirty.
If you’re not our standard of “cleanliness” maybe you can’t come to Jesus? Well, I think those are the people Jesus went after. I like the fact that Jesus wasn’t afraid of getting dirty because of who he interacted with and loved.
Balanced love
The answer isn’t for us to become more edgy. Jesus didn’t sacrifice His morals to reach those who were not like Him, but He did sacrifice himself. He wasn’t afraid to let dirty people into his circle. And the ‘dirtiest’ people weren’t the only dirty ones.
I hope the man who sat behind me at Church on Sunday comes back next week. I hope he doesn’t feel the need again to justify why I’ve never seen Him there. I hope he doesn’t worry what we think about his smell. I hope he knows Jesus isn’t afraid of getting dirty to show love.
I hope he knows I’m as dirty as him in my clean shoes, skinny jeans, and pressed button down. I hope I smell the lingering smell of cigarette smoke this Sunday.
Warmly,
Josh
Josh Powell
Josh has an M.Div from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Josh loves to read, write, and create content for those hurting & helping.
