Sin, Shame, Isolation — The Ugly Cycle
The biggest lie from satan is that in the moments after your sin, you cannot go to God. "You are too dirty, you are too wicked, if you really loved God you wouldn't keep struggling with this week after week. You think He wants you? Go try and work yourself back into His favor, and if you're lucky, he will let you walk to Him."
That's the lie, isn't it? Oh how this lie produces an ugly cycle. We sin, we feel shame, that shame leads us to run away from God and others into isolation, then the isolation leaves us empty. Thus, turning back to sin we begin the cycle anew. Where do we go when we are trapped in this hell of a cycle?
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world."
1st Peter 5:6-9
We cast our anxieties onto God. I know this feels too easy, almost cliche, but stay with me. How does the porn addicted, wicked, and lustful soul cast their anxieties onto God if a large portion of their anxieties is because their sin stops them from going to God in the first place?
This is why I love scripture, it is so logical. Is the sinful person somehow exempt from the scripture above? By no means! Because the verses above are about fighting sin. Fighting the evil one. Why would God mention casting our anxieties onto God, and fighting sin together? Because God knows that we are easy for satan to lure into his pleasure filled traps… more than ever when we feel like God doesn't care. Isn’t that true of you? You sin, feel dirty, guilty, broken. Then, the longer you stay away from God, you drink the concoction of shameful feelings which lead you even further away. Which leads you into more sin. Rinse and repeat.
Isn't that the exact feeling we feel as addicts? As perpetual sinners? The ugly cycle of sin, darkness, hiding, and shame. We just mask it as "we're too dirty... he cares about other people. He cares about clean people who don't think about girls or guys that way. The gospel can save people who aren't as bad as me..." But notice the logic of Peter, why can we cast our anxieties onto God? Because He cares for us. May the words of Peter here free you from the foolish idea that God only wants your righteous anxieties. Do you see how this breaks the cycle of our sin, shame, and isolation? Because in the depths of that cycle, our greatest fear is that God no longer cares for us. So of course I can’t take my anxieties about feeling far from God to God, because He hates me! But this text proves the exact opposite! He cares!
So when you are low, depressed, sad, frustrated, at the end of your rope. And you think... He doesn't care. At least porn or masturbation or some other sin will embrace me for a few moments. Notice the cycle has come round full circle. Stop yourself. Think about the fact that God just told you in 1st Peter to cast your anxieties on Him. He doesn't say: "Cast your clean anxieties on me. Cast your religious anxieties on me. Cast your culturally acceptable anxieties on me." No, cast your anxieties on me, whatever they are. Because I care for you! Notice in the text who He says actually hates you. The one that tells you the lies.
Are you frustrated because the draw towards porn is strong? Tell Him! He cares! Lust sitting at the doorstep? Whispering to you everything you want to hear? Tell Him. He cares. Are you sad because your heart is weak? Tell Him. He cares. Are you lonely? Sitting in your dark room tonight, wishing for companionship? Tell Him. He cares. Are you fed up with how long it's taking you to put to death this sin? Tell Him, he cares.
And when satan comes to your ear and whispers, "Yeah, but he doesn't care about people who struggle like you." Call to mind this scripture and repeat: “Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith,” (1st Peter 5:8-9). Remind yourself the one telling you that God hates you is actually the one who hates you. And you use every bit of faith you have to believe that God cares about you and has asked you to unload your burdens and anxieties onto Him, for HE cares for you.
He isn't going to leave you in this difficult season. He isn't going to walk away. He isn't going to leave you in your weakness. He's steadfast. He's with you in the ups and the downs. He's entered into a covenant with you. He paid it with the blood of His son, do you think he's going to just cancel that because you’re an idiot? He knew you were an idiot when he sent his son to die for you. He isn't surprised by your foolishness. He loves you deeply. He will not let you go. He will not let you go. He will not let you go. He will not let you go.
He will not let you go.
Spurgeon said: "It's not your hold of God that saves, but His hold of you." Keep repenting. Keep working at loving Jesus. Keep confessing. Darkness is only for a season. When you see the cycle of sin, shame, isolation repeating itself, call this scripture to mind. Know that God went towards Adam and Eve when they ran because of their shame and God desires to run after you in yours. The only way to break the cycle of sin is to go to the cross. Get on your knees, look up at Jesus hanging on that beam. See where your sins where replaced with His righteousness. (2nd Corinthians 5:21)Where Your shame was taken and replaced with a spirit of adoption (Romans 8:15). And where your isolation has been taken upon Christ, who yelled “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) So that you would never have to.
Cling to the Gospel, it is the only way to break the cycle.
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
Romans 5:1-11
Clinging with you,
Josh.
