Forgive Me

Goals can be infiltrated by subtle shifts.

I’ve been reflecting on how Weapons of Grace started, where it is, and where I want it to be. As I’ve reflected I fear I’ve gotten off track with my original purpose and mission for this website.

I believe I got caught up trying to write what was marketable, not what was helpful. I’m certainly not against using marketing techniques to help expand who can find our content. I have many talented friends who have helped me in those regards. But I do not want that to be primary. Our goal here isn’t to be marketable or impressive.

Returning to the original reason

In the Bible I first used when I began speaking and preaching I wrote a short line to help my motivations. I remember fighting internally at times to want to be impressive. I was aware of this subtle desire for people to leave and think “he’s good”. I began to ask God for a greater desire to be helpful, than impressive. I scribbled out in the front page - “work to be helpful, not impressive”.

I guess here I am again, scribbling that down. It’s an intoxicating thing to be impressive. To be known for being eloquent, articulate, smart, well-read… etc. But why do we (pastors, Christian writers, disciple makers) do what we do? Why do I spend time on Weapons of Grace? It’s probably a concoction of goals and desires. But I want the main one to be simply, I want to be helpful.

I want to be helpful to people who feel like they’ve sinned God’s love away, reminding them that His love is overflowing and patient. I want to be helpful to the lonely, showing them God’s heart for the isolated. I want to be helpful to the grieving, pointing them to God’s care for the brokenhearted.

I think I’ve gotten one email that said: “You are a very good writer”.

I’ve gotten countless that said: “I needed that in this season of my life, thank you”.

Forgive me

I want to do something that lasts, that has eternal impact. That might not look like present day success. We might “never go viral”. Our instagram might stay under 1,000 followers. I may never get emails for speaking engagements. That may mean articles are slower to come out because I spend more time thinking and praying over them.

I’ll be ok with all that as long as what we do here continues to be for the right reasons. To help people far from God see Him as good, loving, and kind. To help people who feel stuck. To be a beacon of light to those in darkness.

So forgive me for getting off track for a little bit. I’m thankful for time to reflect and reorient. Life and growth are never linear. The Christian life is one of reorienting back to what is true because our sinful hearts are prone to lead us astray. We should always be taking stock of where we are in relation to our original goals. Sometimes that takes slowing down to do, but it’s worth it.

Attempting, by God’s grace, to create Weapons of Grace more purely,

Josh.