Is God Fed Up With Me Because of My Sin?
What is Jesus’s disposition to us in our most weakest state? Not the us on Sunday morning worshipping and being kind, hiding behind the veneer of Sunday Christianity. But the real us. The raw us. The us at 2 am. The us when no one is around. The us when we lash out, when we stumble, when we fail?
Is He Angered?
Frustrated?
Disgusted?
Holding us at arm’s length?
Fed Up with us?
If you’ve ever wondered how the Lord views you when you are most frail, listen to what Jesus told sinners with his own lips: Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:29) Commenting on this passage Thomas Goodwin says:
[Jesus] tells them his disposition there, by preventing such hard thoughts of him, to allure them unto him the more. We are apt to think that he, being so holy, is therefore of a severe and sour disposition against sinners, and not able to bear them. “No,” says he: “I am meek; gentleness is my nature and temper.”
- Thomas Goodwin, The Heart of Christ (Edinburgh: Banner of Truth, 2011) 63.
Jesus allows us to peer into his heart when He is looking at sinful, weak, and rebellious people. The people who will kill Him. And what does he long to communicate? How gentle He is. How lowly He is. Goodwin is on to something here— that we are so prone to think of Jesus as more stern and more severe than He really is. The reality is, perhaps Jesus is not as rough with us as we are on ourselves.
Jesus is more gentle than you know
His patience is present. He is long suffering with us, through the mountains of joy and the valleys of despair. His love is steadfast, present with us on our best days as well as our most sinful days. (Psalm 103, 118, 136)
His tender care is available. Think of the prodigal son, walking home after running away from his father. What is the fathers response when he sees his son nearing the house? To run to his son and embrace him. Old men don’t run in those times. And yet, the tender care of this father in the story is brimming over with notes of gentleness and love that we are slow to grasp. And yet, Jesus told this story as a window into his own heart for repentant and broken sinners. (Psalm 86, Luke 15:20)
His arms are open. Yes, there is fatherly displeasure towards our sins. We must balance our view of Jesus. For we are called to be holy and our sins are no light work of rebellion. But His displeasure is not a “get away from me, you disgust me” displeasure. But a fatherly displeasure that says: “I want better for you my child, walk with me the path of flourishing and righteousness.” The Lord loves us where He finds us, but He also loves us too much to keep us there.
Jesus offers this choice gift of gentle love to his children. When describing himself in Matthew 11, Jesus could have used any true description. Is Jesus not Holy? Is Jesus not King? Is Jesus not Creator? Is Jesus not Worthy? Is Jesus not Powerful? Is Jesus not Judge? And what does Jesus choose to communicate about himself? That He is gentle and lowly.
And us… Are we not sinful? Weak? Foolish? Immature? Rebellious? Slow To Learn? And yet, when looking out at His children, what catches his eye is not these attributes, although they are true. What catches His eye is the reality that we are weary and burdened. Jesus’s response to our weariness and burdens is none of the more authoritarian attributes of His. But - “Come to me and I will give you rest.”
There is hope
Are you weary of working? Tired of trying to earn God’s love? Are you heavy laden by your sins? Exhausted by bearing the weight of who you wish you were while all too aware of who you really are? Crushed under the weight of suffering? Go to Jesus. He will give you rest. You do not have to worry that if Jesus saw the real you He would become disillusioned about you and forsake you. Jesus knew the real you when He died on the cross. And He stayed.
It’s repetition has worn the phrase down. But among this background maybe it will carry new power for you. Truly, it was not the nails that kept Jesus on that cross. With the real, raw, and weak version of who you are in His mind, it was His love for you that kept him on that cross. Notice how Romans classifies the state of us when Christ died.
6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
-Romans 5:6-8
Christ did not die for the better version of you. He died for the messy you. The sinful you. The weak you. And this gives us hope that in our most frail form, we are deeply loved.
Why did Christ die? For He is Gentle and Lowly. And in his heart of hearts He longs for you to see it. So much so that He died on a cross for your sins, that you may realize His deep love for you.
Marveling at the heart of God with you,
Josh.
*Reflections from reading chapter 1 of Gentle and Lowly.
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